hope charity and kindness

What's important to you?  I've been through a lot of pain in my life, mostly at my own hands.  I like to blame my mother for not teaching me better.  As much as I'd like to blame my mother, and I can ... trust me, I can ... but, I know the blame really rests with me.  I don't know how I would have known better, since we only know that which we are taught.  But, there are other people who have been through worse things than me and still manage to grab life by the balls.  Unfortunately for me, I've only managed to understand the game in the last few years.  It's not all about me.  I've always known that ... my mother made it clear, but I tried so hard... so very hard (which in itself explains some of the problem).  In my old age, thanks to many years of love, patience and understanding from my husband, I finally get it.  I hate that it took me so long to get it.  All those wasted years.  It devastates and frustrates the hell out of me.  Why can't there be a do-over?  I want to do it again, and this time, do it right! 

My Brother-in-Law passed away a few years ago and before he died he made it very clear what was most important to him:  Faith, Family and Friends.  I live by his mantra because of him, but I have to admit that friends and family don't mean as much to me as they did to him.  I don't speak to half of my family, I don't have a lot of friends. My faith has only been important to me for the last 16 years (when faith spoke to me).  Even so, faith has really become even more important to me over the last few years.  Mostly I believe it's because I "get" it now.  My husband has been teaching me since the day we met but, only in the last few years have I really embraced it.  It's not about me.  I have never been happy unless others around me were happy.  It's the most unselfish selfishness I have ever known.  Hope for a good life for future generations, helping others, and, well, just being nice.   That's what has become important to me.  I failed at the family and friends thing, but hope, charity and kindness has changed me.  Nothing is more important in life.