Thoughts upon thoughts

I am so frustrated with my lack of blogging. My New Year's resolution was to blog every day and remember the positive thoughts that come from my MissRable self. On the one hand, it was a way for me to see if I am truly as negative and MissRable as I think I am. Being able to read what my thoughts were a few days ago was a good way to answer what I needed to know ... am I really that negative? I was doing really well at the beginning of the year. Very positive and very happy. So I thought, I must be wrong ... I'm not really that negative. Of course, a new job can skew the mind. Lots of opportunities and new things which are always exciting. So, of course, there was a lot of positivity. But, once the newness wore off, what I found was this sad depressed unhappy person. I don't like me much. I'm way too negative, and more importantly, I remember more of the negative things in my life. Because I was trying to only use this blog for good, I stopped blogging when the depression hit. But, now I'm frustrated with myself that I let myself down with this blog, and more importantly, that I let the depression stop me from blogging. It's hard, when you are depressed, to think of something worth writing that is worth reading for my friends and family that read this blog. So, I guess I should apologize in advance for sucky reading. Hopefully, there will occasionally be some good reading too.

I got up this morning a little early, which is was good. after being off a for a few days, I needed the extra time in the office to review emails and things that came in while I was out. And I got a special welcome back.... my boss was apparently sick so she didn't come in today. Whew! No interruptions, no worries. I got a lot done. I also got a huge compliment from one of the Partners, too. I know that if I decide to leave my job, I'm wanted in other areas in the firm. Yup, there's my positive thought for the day. It's actually huge to me. I needed it. I've become so negative and MissRable, and yet today I had no reason to be sad. This may be one of the reasons that I'm blogging today. I'm not overwhelmed in misery.

My girlfriend and I decided to diet for the rest of the week. I was telling her that my lunchtimes with her are the biggest downfall to my dieting because I can't imagine missing on my lunchtime meals and time with them. Well, she took that obstacle away from me today. I'm so grateful because I have gained a lot of weight since January and things aren't getting better. I've got to do something!! So, starting tomorrow, new lunch plans. I know I've said it before, but this time it's for real because I have a buddy doing this with me. I'll keep you posted.

I guess I've missed blogging, because I sure typed a lot tonight! Now I'm going to spend time with my wonderful husband.